You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
