god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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