Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
