I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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