you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
