We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
