If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
