Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
