I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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