I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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