i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
