It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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