Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
