don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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