is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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