I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
