he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
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At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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