i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize