Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
