yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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