Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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