My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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