he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Come see our sink grown plant.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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