well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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