you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
