I wish I could punch you in the face.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
