I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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