??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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