Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
40s are totally the cure
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
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