are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
