Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize