Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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