Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
