fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
