We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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