i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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