I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
