I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
