What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
