I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
