Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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