where am i from again
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
