You're completely useless in the revolution.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize