My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
