OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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