Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
