used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
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A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
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I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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