If i come over, it means nothing
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
