it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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