After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
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Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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