Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
whose parrot is this?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
