last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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