i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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