You really coming over, don't trick.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
