i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
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