That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
