Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
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Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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