As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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