it wasn't lemon gatorade
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
