you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
