It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
