Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
