He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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