You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
