I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
