You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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